A lot of what I've been thinking of has to do with change, reinvention, mutation, transformation. It's so funny how time takes a toll on your life. I don't hold anyone responsible if they decide to change. Change in a good way or bad. Sometimes we all have to go through change in order to survive. If it's in a bad way you realize it and alter it and head in the right direction. If it's in a good way, you only better yourself. Through out this past year numerous events happened that were life changing. You live each day working, playing, enjoying, not realizing that your memories get longer and your life gets shorter. Small things don't really matter to you anymore like they did before. Friends that were there for you then are not there now. Even love sometimes fluctuates. at times it is strong, at other times it's weak.
For those who know me well, I'm a huge family person. I've always believed that blood is thicker than water. I still do, I'll always be there for my family no matter what hands down. Lately though the unity of my family has gotten weaker. It's really saddening to me when I think about it, when you reminisce about the past and where it stands in the present. You gather all these different emotions and don't know which one to feel. You want everything to be okay even though it is not. And that's where change comes into play again. Places change all over the world, and it's the same thing with people. Everyone is entitled to change. Different people go through different changes at different points in their lives. We can never be in sync at the same time. If that was the case, the world would stand still and there would be no development, the earth wouldn't turn. The world would be grey.
The question that always hinders in my head is where is my life headed? Am I making correct decisions? Do I want to spend the rest of my life doing what I'm doing right now? Do I even want to bring a human being into this crazy hectic world? I may sound a little crazy here but these are certain thoughts that you need to think about. Is me feeling content with myself real or am I in denial? I do worry about what people think of me, and how they look at me. I know everyone has problems, I guess it's normal to be insecure, But my question is, will the same people that i please, worry about me in my time of need?
I know there are a few of you who still care about me and my well being, and there are those few who don't give a fuck about me. But that's okay, because really......I don't give a fuck about you too. Life is too short to deal with petty things. And this blog goes out to the people who care if I live or die.
-G- 2011
